


What They Carry

by klutzy34



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Friendship, Ghosts, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-09-01 03:23:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8605360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klutzy34/pseuds/klutzy34
Summary: Danny believed in ghosts because he was born seeing them, speaking to them.





	

Danny believed in ghosts because he was born seeing them, speaking to them. Shades of the people they once were, following the men and women they once loved, hated, barely knew but had some visible impact on their lives. It was part of what drove Danny to become a cop, not only to help the living, but the dead. When active cases weren’t enough, he dove into archives of cold ones while they whispered in his ear.

The only catch was that he never saw his own, could never make peace with them, let them go to whatever lay beyond. He could feel their presence heavy at his back, their number growing, but it ended there. That was his burden, his price. To help others, he suffered under the weight of his own.

His family, they became haunted the most. Danny could only watch as Malia reached out to Chin, her ghostly hand caressing the side of his face while she begged Danny to help him keep smiling, to help him find reasons for happiness. Kono, still young, still hopeful, her ghosts were still there but less in number and Danny prayed she never felt the weight they did. Lou, the man who drove him from Chicago, who haunted his dreams and made him laugh harder and louder than anyone else just to prove he was okay, even when he wasn’t.

And Steve. Danny watched Freddie appear here and there, trying to tell him to forgive himself, that it was his choice. Danny tried to imply the same, but Steve never took the bait. John. John McGarrett, wandering the house, lost soul that he was. It was one reason Danny never understood why Steve just didn’t sell the place and move elsewhere. John didn’t seem to know what he wanted, except to fix things that were impossible to fix, instead mumbling apologies as he stopped to stare at pictures of Steve and Mary Ann on the wall.

The day that he gave Steve part of his liver, he unfortunately shared his gift and burden. He knew it the moment the nurses left after moving them into a room together, Steve’s voice soft and shaky as he told Danny there were people at his bedside, so many of them, quiet and waiting, watching.

“Yeah, Steve, I know.” It was the only answer he could give, sadly resigned. “I’m sorry for what your life is about to become.”

Steve adjusted quickly, as SuperSEAL always did. He once again proved how when the chips were down, they effortlessly fell into sync, communicating with a look when they saw the spectres looming around. He saw them all surrounding Chin, Kono, Lou. But he didn’t see Freddie, didn’t see John. He asked Danny and Danny answered honestly, but all Steve could do was look around the room helplessly for his own, who he would never see.

“The people you told me about…and Matt. Meka. You know they’re there, don’t you?” Steve asked one night while they both sat in the darkness, looking out at the water. The bottles of water made poor substitutes for beers, but it was something to hold, something to focus on. Danny nodded slowly, staring at the ground. “They don’t blame you, you know.”

Danny closed his eyes. “They don’t, but I do. Forgiveness is harder to grant when it has to come from within.” He sighed and looked to his side, where he could feel them like a slight pressure against his shoulder. “They don’t blame you either.”

“I know,” Steve said softly, then, “but I do.” A moment of understanding passed between them and they fell silent again, sitting there until Danny finally rose from the chair, back growing stiff. As he ambled for the front door, Steve grabbed his arm and tugged him for the bedroom instead.

They lay there together, Steve’s arm over him as they slept, forehead pressed against Danny’s back. Danny’s hand rest over his, fingers sliding between Steve’s.

Surrounded by the dead they couldn’t see, the forgiveness they couldn’t yet give themselves weighing heavily on their shoulders, the living clung to each other and the hope of a brighter morning.


End file.
